It is often said that "small talk is important."
I also try to include small talk as much as possible during one-on-ones, but on the contrary, I find it difficult if I get too focused on having small talk.
Therefore, I found this book available on Prime Reading and decided to read it.

The Intent of Small Talk

Many Japanese businessmen seem to think that "a person good at small talk is someone who is good at chatting and telling interesting stories," but in the business world, that alone is not enough. At the forefront of business by global standards, it is the person who "has a clear intention and can engage in profound conversations towards that goal" who is considered "good at small talk."

I have rarely approached small talk with an "intention." I thought it was simply something to fill the gaps in conversation. However, small talk with intention is indeed an important step in building trust and relationships.

Reasons for Discomfort with Small Talk

Many people who feel uncomfortable with small talk are those who are not good at "conversation without purpose."

Without a purpose, they become unsure of "what to talk about." However, if you change your perspective slightly, small talk has a solid role.

• Creates connections at the workplace
• Enhances trust
• Fosters psychological safety
• Makes it easier to speak up in meetings
• Increases work motivation

Looking at it this way, small talk is also a "system" for strengthening the team.

The Importance of Self-Disclosure

Many people tend to ask questions to broaden the conversation, but doing so can lead to a feeling of being bombarded with questions and often fails to close the distance.
By proactively sharing about oneself, one can give the impression that "this person is opening up to me," which can create a sense of security. This is a point to keep in mind.

Building Rapport

The purpose of small talk is said to be to create "rapport." Rapport means a relationship where both parties can open their hearts and talk comfortably. It felt almost synonymous with psychological safety, but it makes sense that small talk serves as that foundation.

What was interesting is the emphasis on showing real interest in those with lower status.
Outstanding businessmen overseas give speaking opportunities in unexpected orders like "department head → new graduate → section chief → team leader" during meetings, drawing out a wide range of perspectives.
This kind of facilitation also lies along the "continuum of small talk."

Preparation and Review are Necessary for Small Talk

Small talk also requires "preparation" and "review." Remembering what was discussed last time and not repeating the same questions.
Such small considerations deepen trust.
I also usually take minutes during one-on-ones, but as the weeks go by, they get buried, so I make it a point to keep important information in a separate note.

Conclusion

Small talk is not just "a conversation."

• It creates trust
• It fosters psychological safety
• It enhances team performance

It is a powerful tool for achieving these ends.

There is no need to tell interesting stories. What is important is to have the intention to understand the other person and to disclose oneself, thus creating a relationship of safety.

Thinking this way makes small talk feel much more meaningful.